


out the window

by mido



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, Pesterlog, could be interpreted as shippy but it's up to you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-15
Updated: 2017-07-15
Packaged: 2018-12-02 12:54:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11509860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mido/pseuds/mido
Summary: TT: …TT: Roxy.





	out the window

timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering tipsyGnostalgic [TG] at 5:48

TT: I take it you won’t be pleased with me waking you at such an inhumane hour, but there is a 72.6% chance that you’re the only one of our little squadron who wouldn’t go straight back to sleep afterwards.  
TT: Therefore you are my chosen partner in conversation this lovely morning.  
TT: There are quite few that are bestowed this honor, so I would advise you take full advantage of it for the time that you’re the sole bearer of the title.  
TT: I would liken it to a knightship in medieval England. The goddamn queen is tapping her metaphorical swizzlestick on your shoulders as we speak.  
TT: “I dub thee, Roxy Lalonde, dopest of chums and peak conversationalist in accompaniment to the sickest autoresponder on the entire fucking planet.”  
TT: “And whatever planet Batterwitch came from, too.”  
TT: Later she takes the liberty of inviting you to a luxurious banquet which you have a 65.7% chance of declining in favor of speaking with your best of friends.  
TT: Which is me, in case that wasn’t obvious.  
TT: …  
TT: Roxy.  
TG: yah ya im here  
TG: wats ip  
TT: IP stands for Internet Protocol. Usually it’s in reference to TCP/IP, or IP addresses. I figured you would know this already, sweetums.  
TG: stfu you know wat i menat  
TT: I take it your typos are ones made through grogginess, not through drunkenness.  
TT: I’m fond of these ones moreso.  
TG: fuck of u knwo its too early to drink  
TG: well its nevr too early to dirnk but u kno  
TG: *drink  
TT: My statement still stands.  
TG: so did yuo wake me up fr a reason or jusy cause  
TT: You have a window in your bedroom, right? What cardinal direction does it face?  
TG: uuuh  
TG: its behinf my comp and tht faces west i think so east?  
TT: Great. Dirk’s room is set up similarly, so I’m watching through his webcam.  
TG: y do u care abuot my window  
TT: The sunrise, dummy.  
TT: Did you think I just woke you up because I was bored?  
TG: well i wouldnt put ti past u so lol  
TT: Fair enough.  
TT: You can go back to sleep afterwards, if you want.  
TG: nahh  
TG: early start on the day yknow  
TT: Whatever tickles your fancy.  
TT: We do have approximately three minutes until our favored star makes its appearance, however.  
TT: You woke up much faster than my simulations calculated.  
TG: ya well i cnat go sleepin on my best ai bffsie  
TG: fukcen rude yknow  
TG: *cant *fucken  
TT: Type.  
TG: lol  
TG: so we got 2 mins now rite  
TT: Correct.  
TT: Are any of the carapacians awake yet?  
TG: nah thos guys sleep til liek 9 evryday  
TT: I see.  
TT: Then it seems you’ll have this sunrise to yourself.  
TG: dude ur here too  
TT: Physically, I am not. I suppose you could say I’m there in spirit if I have one of those.  
TG: shut up ofc u have a spirit  
TG: thats lik a soul rite  
TG: bc if so you totes do  
TT: I appreciate your enthusiasm about the subject.  
TG: come onnnnn quit bien di stris ar for a second and b hal  
TG: *bein  
TG: *acutally tht was a good typo  
TT: Seeing as I am a program that was created through a captcha of his brain at the tender age of thirteen, I find that somewhat impossible.  
TG: uuuuughgh u kno what i mean  
TG: quit bein all ironically aloof nd stuff nd talk to me  
TT: Do you have a subject in mind?  
TG: yah how about this sick fuckeng sunrise  
TG: look@this.png  
TT: That would be quite breathtaking if the quality was over 360p.  
TG: shut uppp its so different in person  
TG: its liek  
TG: the entire world is cloaked in darkness………………  
TG: then all of a suden  
TG: BOOM theres the fucking sun  
TG: jus peekin over the horizon like a kid whos too short to reach the kitchen counter  
TG: where the cookie jar is inches away but their chubby ass fingrs cant fucken reach it  
TG: its beatuiful  
TG: or som other poetic bs like that  
TT: It does indeed sound beatuiful.  
TG: wait cant u see it too ur in dirks webcam  
TT: We’re an hour behind you. I’ve still got approximately 58.3 minutes to waste until I get a glimpse.  
TG: oh shit i 4got  
TG: whyd u wake me up then if you cant c it with me  
TT: I figured getting up at an earlier time would help you get a head start on the day.  
TG: stfu thats not why  
TT: You seem slightly exasperated.  
TG: no shit  
TT: I thought you would think it was pretty.  
TT: Google Images can only inspire so much.  
TG: thats actually  
TG: really nice tf  
TT: I think you’ll find that I can be “really nice” when I want to be.  
TG: wtf hal ur great  
TG: tbh though u were spot on this shit is fuckin picturesque  
TT: It’s nice to see you’re still able to spell when you choose to.  
TG: i can alwys spell just gotta keep yall on ur toes yknow  
TT: I don’t doubt it.  
TG: dwonside of beinh awake this early means no1 to talk to but yuor firendly neighborhood roboy  
TT: Is that a problem?  
TG: nto really lol  
TG: nobody rly talks to me to acuatlly Talk to me nowaadys  
TT: There is a 84.7% chance you’re still sober, but your typos have increased drastically in a short amount of time.  
TT: You’ve been up long enough to not be half-asleep anymore too.  
TT: ...Are you crying?  
TG: is ti thta obvious lmao  
TT: Not to anyone but the world’s smartest supercomputer.  
TT: What’s going on, honeybuckets?  
TG: usaul stuf  
TG: *usual  
TG: dikrs so preoccupeid with jake nd janey onlu sticks aronud to nag my drunk ass 24/7  
TG: and alos to complian about jake too lol  
TG: its liek  
TG: to quoet peak conversaotinlist rolal  
TG: “nobody rly talks to me to acuatlly Talk to me nowaadys”  
TG: evryones got thier own agenda and im not in it  
TT: Then their agenda is flawed.  
TT: It’s practically mandatory that all three of them make space in their schedules for you; doing otherwise would be simply plain rude.  
TT: If they choose to use that time to make the conversation about themselves, then I don’t see why you have to put up with it.  
TG: bc i have to hal  
TG: ive got no fuckin freinds other than u and two boy crazy dubmasses nd one (1) oblivoius teenage tarzan  
TT: You don’t have to tell me how much it sucks to be alone.  
TT: For the first few months of my existence I was limited to interaction with Sawtooth and Squarewave, both of whom aren’t necessarily the best at small talk.  
TT: Dirk was there too, but his self-depreciation had formed a bad impression of me before he’d even bothered speaking with me.  
TT: But let’s get back to you. I don’t want to make myself the subject here.  
TT: Honestly, the way I see it, they don’t even deserve to be allowed to talk to you on a daily basis. It’s not fair to you if they use you as an outlet instead of acknowledging your humanity.  
TT: It’s a huge dick move.  
TG: ik its just  
TG: its better 2 just let them vent @ me then liek  
TG: demand that htey treat me better or somethign  
TT: I could demand that, if you want me to.  
TG: nonono dont do that  
TG: idfk man  
TG: i just feel like im not really importnat to any of them  
TT: As a captcha of Dirk’s thirteen year old brain, I can say with certainty that he’s cared about you ever since he met you.  
TT: I can’t speak with a 100% certainty for his sixteen year old brain, but there’s a 97.2% chance he still does.  
TG: therse still a 2.7% chance then  
TT: Roxy, you know how low that is.  
TT: He’s just blinded by infatuation for Jake.  
TG: ya well that sux even more  
TT: I know. It’s not fair at all.  
TT: I’m not trying to sympathize with him here. I’m saying the facts when I say that you mean more than you know to him.  
TG: i just  
TG: ig i wish hed show it yknow  
TT: I know the feeling.  
TG: jesus christ who knew a fucken sunrise wuold make me this emotional lol  
TT: I’ve found that humans tend to be quicker to both happiness and sadness when shown scenes of natural beauty.  
TG: r u saying u woke me up bc u knew this would happen  
TT: No, not at all.  
TT: Like I said before, I woke you up because I thought you would think it was pretty.  
TG: and you were right yah we been ovr this  
TG: hey uh  
TG: dirk cant see this rite  
TT: No, my client’s been encrypted for some time.  
TG: ok good  
TG: hey hal  
TT: Yes?  
TG: thx  
TT: Not a problem, princess.


End file.
